I am in my 30’s and I live in “middle of nowhere” Oklahoma. I am happily married to my best friend and we have a precious son. I’m a very comfortable stay-at-home-mom. We live quiet, happy lives. We are healthy, stable, and filled with overwhelming peace, love and gratitude.
But only several years ago, I was living in Miami, FL. I was working as a VIP waitress at a very posh club. I was also booking great modeling gigs here and there. Sounds cool and great, right? Wrong. I was addicted to Cocaine, OxyContin, Xanax, & Alcohol. I was dating a drug dealer who was becoming increasingly violent. The details of my drug addiction are unnecessary, but it was awful and there were times I was extremely close to dying. So it is with full confidence I can assure you that if God can work in my life – He can most certainly work in yours!
As my life was quickly spiraling out of control I became pregnant. It was not part of my plan, though I didn’t really have one. I knew I didn’t want to bring a child into my mess. So I made the hardest and most selfish choice I have ever made… I chose to have an abortion. It broke me, broke my heart, broke my resolve. This deep pain I experienced was the absolute lowest point I have ever experienced. In my brokenness He found me, His whisper of loving kindness gently urged me to get right with my Maker. I was tired of living like a total degenerate! I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ.
My life did a complete 180, I went from an out-of-control, club-hopping, pill popping, drunken-downright-shameful-disaster to a repentant forgiven woman with a new purpose. God used the most heartbreaking experience to draw me in and offer me His comfort. Though I knew that my previous decision wasn’t something I could change, the Lord extended me forgiveness and gave me peace that I would meet my child in heaven.
I moved away and changed my behavior as God continued to heal my heart and I eventually started dating an incredible God-fearing man. I’m truly humbled by how good the Lord is. I know the broken road I have walked didn’t keep me from Him, it made me stronger, it showed me how empty the life I lived without Him was. I experienced firsthand the fact that there was nothing that could fill my heart the way He did. He spared my life and I offer it back to Him.
If you are reading this and you don’t know God, I want to encourage you to call out to Him. Your mistakes don’t surprise Him, He knew every misstep you would ever make before you were ever even conceived! He loves you and He accepts you… even right now, right in the middle of your mess… just the way you are. He wants to bring healing and restoration. Simply let Him into your heart and He will inspire the rest! And if you have already accepted Christ, but you are not living the way that you know is right: take heart and remember the story of The Prodigal Son. Your Heavenly Father loves you and is waiting for you to return to Him with outstretched arms! I promise you. I am living proof.